Isn’t it funny how after something bad happens to you, you immediately decide your going to take a hissy fit? The world all of a sudden becomes unfair and you can’t understand why something so bad would happen to you? I mean, your a good person, you try really hard to be nice, you work really hard and wait… bad things still happen to good people?! That’s just flat out crazy!
Earlier this year I had one of these experiences. I’m still not sure if I was more angry I had to deal with it or sad at the actual situation. I also learned what the best mascara is, because if your going to cry at work, you better make sure your wearing the right one. Now I’m very lucky to work with some supportive individuals. One of which, I’m pretty sure made it their personal mission to cheer me up on a regular bases. Weeks of this went by and so did my feeling of entitlement to take a hissy fit. Some how, I was the only person in the world bad things happened to.
Then guilt and embarassment came knocking at my door and boy were they loud. The person who had been devoting their time and energy to cheering me up, had also been going through their own personal struggles, which were far far far worse than my own. I quickly realized I had no right to be taking a hissy fit, when this individual had more serious worries. When did I become so selfish? Bad things happened to others good people? The world didn’t revolve around me? See, this is where it starts to get embarrassing…
After that wake up call, I realized maybe that individual wasn’t the only other person facing theirs own personal struggles. Maybe their we’re many others. Maybe the lady at the grocery store just found out she had cancer? Or maybe my neighbours dog just died? The least I could do was smile and return the favour given to me. If a simple smile and hello had meant so much to me over those weeks, imagine what it could mean to someone else.
Have you ever wanted something so bad that your willing to convince yourself it’s working?
A friend of mine was recently in this relationship she thought was going to last forever. They quickly moved in together and were planning the rest of their lives together. All the red flags were there, but she brushed them off as normal relationship problems. I mean, she’s a smart, good looking, and hardworking woman, clearly she knew what an unhealthy relationship looked like. She wasn’t about giving up on relationships and understood sometimes they take work. The severity of the red flags increased and she soon accepted that no matter how hard she tried it just wasn’t going to work. He wasn’t a bad person, they were just too different.
This made me think of the shapes toddler toy. The trick is for the toddler to fit the square shape into the square hole, the circle shape into the circle hole… and you get the point. Sometimes we want people to fit into our lives and we want them to be, who we want them to be. In reality, we can’t change people (nor should we seek to). A square shape will never fit into the triangle shape hole. You can push and shave off the edges, but the square will always be a square and the triangle will always be a triangle.