I’m not insecure, I’m rational

Have you ever heard the story of the lady who is deathly afraid of flying and she goes on a plane and is convinced something bad is going to happen? The smell of burning equipment, really is dinner being cooked; The flight attendants are whispering about the planes doom, not about last nights dinner party; or that faded humming sound is a mechanical breakdown, instead of just air flow from the air conditioner unit.

Some times I think I should have become a lawyer because I can rationalise any situation. I can make any situation turn exactly into what I want to believe is happening, instead of what the reality is of whats happening. Seriously, I’m amazing at it and I should get paid for it. I’m so good at it, that I can even disguise it as just rationalising the situation so clearly I must be right.

And I am never right.

The problem is, once you begin to convince yourself that an apple really is an orange, your eventually going to start to believe it. No one wants to be proven wrong, so you will go to all lengths to make sure that the apple really is an orange for no other reason than the satisfaction of being right. It’s amazing what our brains can do really.

Your not rationalising, your just being scared and insecure.

And it’s okay.

I’ve learned to play the fact versus fiction game. Take any situation and make two columns; Fact and Fiction. List your reasons in the two columns and it’s amazing how your facts actually turn into fiction. The trick is, your facts really need to be facts. Sounds simple eh? But it’s not. Your facts can not be something you think to be true or someway you’ve interpreted a situation. Facts need to be facts.


It’s okay to make mistakes

The thought of choosing where to go for dinner can be stressful enough when you suffer from indecisive syndrome. This probably isn’t a legit syndrome, but I think its serious enough to become one. I mean, do I want pineapple on my pizza or do I want mushrooms? What if I get the mushrooms and am dissatisfied because I really wanted the pineapples?

Okay I get it, there are much bigger problem in the world, than my debate on pizza toppings and need to get my priorities checked. But, when you suffer from indecisive syndrome, pizza toppings can be a paralyzing experience.

Am I starting to make you hungry yet? Either it’s getting close to dinner time or I actually have a point here. One of the lessons I’ve recently learned is that it’s okay to be indecisive and its okay to make mistakes.

It’s okay to eat pineapples, when you really wanted mushrooms.

It’s okay to change your mind.

It’s okay to make mistakes.

It’s okay to be confused.

It’s okay to be indecisive.

It’s okay.

If you take a wrong turn, you turn your car around and just keep driving forward.

If you want a sports car, buy a sports car

This lesson is probably the most ironic lesson I’ve ever learned. I am a very practical person and the idea of driving a sports car clashes with this thought process. I mean, where do you even put your groceries? I’ve always been more of an SUV kind of girl myself. Room for the family pet, luggage, that new coffee table and always room for people to join in on the ride.
During a regular meeting with my manager at work, I brought up his sports car as an attempt to understand why a grown adult would spend money on such a thing. Feeling overly confident, I gave him my list of reasons why I thought it was silly. To my surprise, he responded calmly with one sentence, “if you want to buy a sports car, you buy a sports car.” And then in that moment it made so much sense.
Sometimes the planner in me spends so much time thinking about what the most “practical” option is, that I spend no time thinking about what it is that I want. Did I buy the SUV because it was something I wanted or because it was the most practical option? Did I oatmeal for breakfast because it was fast and easy, instead of eating the waffles I really wanted? Did I go to that dinner party on the weekend because I was expected to go or because I really wanted to go? Now I’m not suggesting you run out  and blow your budget on a sports car, but some times it really is that simple.